The topic of self-evaluation, self-esteem, self-confidence is evergreen. But really. Who can have all the three of them at the maximum of the healthy level? If you know anyone like this, please give me their contact, as I would love to have a good chat with them. Or maybe various good chats, actually 🙂
I attended a presentation day organised by the Be Smart Klub, where this triad was also a topic by Imre Limpár trainer, consultant, and psychologist. I encountered with a lot of interesting and useful information, which I would like to share with all of you as well.
Oh, yes, the number one favourite – for me at least for sure. It shows whether you appreciate what you reached in the past. Whether you feel them as real achievements, or just some things that happened and that’s it.
Your self-esteem depends highly on what feedbacks you received in the past. Did your parents, partner, friends, workplace support you that you are worth something, anything?
Or on the contrary, they only pushed you down, that you will always be a no one, you are not smart, pretty, beautiful, nice enough? If there are just injuries in your past, one or more of them, this is what you need to get rid of. Otherwise, you will feel that as you are advancing in your life you are constantly carrying a backpack of 20-30 kilograms of dead weight. Figuratively.
And sometimes not even that figuratively… Hm…
During the presentation speech a great concept was also mentioned that I knew from earlier and loved as well: the index of grumping + lamenting + whining + complaining (GLWC). If you check these, they are all past-focused behaviours. The higher your GLWC index is, the surer that your backpack is full. You need to empty your backpack, lower your GLWC index to its minimum : )
Here and now. No, not the mindfulness, but who you are here and now.
If you introduce yourself, what are those things that you say about yourself? What else would you add in a few words that are about you? The things said are roles in your life, occupations, your origins, attributes?
Self-esteem includes how much you love yourself.
How much you love your looks, your body, your inner self, your soul, your mind. How much time are you willing to invest in improving these?
In my opinion, if someone has their self-esteem at a healthy level, they pay attention to their development of the body, soul, mind, all of it.
Think about it, that in case of a decline in our self-esteem we can get so comfortable in the security of our own apartment. All day in the same pyjama, not having a shower, with pieces of pizza in our hair/on our clothes (who prefers what, right?) and binge-watching our favourite zombie series. For me this is the perfect example for hitting the self-esteem rock bottom and not taking care of ourselves.
The good old future orientation.
Do you trust your future? What would your life to be like in 5-10 years? Do you only have dreams that are floating somewhere high above, or you also bring them down to the ground and make goals of them towards which you can advance in your life?
You need to trust, that you can reach these future goals.
You need to trust yourself.
In the meantime, it is also worth taking into consideration, that it is not only the goal that is important, but also the way towards it.
If you are self-confident, the coming failures and difficulties cannot stop you, you can still move forward and see the good side of the things. You can also see the improvement areas and what you need to learn from the given situations.
Those having a low self-confidence experience the difficulties as huge failures and can give up moving forward. Don’t give up! If your goal is realistic, believe in yourself that you can reach it. Believe in yourself! You can do it! ¤