Two of my dear friends inspired this article. We walked in a fantastic park and talked about the big things of life. How we are, how we are going to be, how we imagine our future, what we would like our future to look like, what we want to achieve.
What I’ve noticed lately is that within a given period of time I hear, see, or I am personally part of situations where I can advise the same one thing to people or to myself. This has been the case for the past few weeks as well and during the conversation with my two friends, I realised it.
You have to cross the bridge when you get there.
Why do we want to plan so much in advance, to know in advance? Why aren’t we often able to just let things happen and react to them when it’s time? Why do we have the false feeling in our lives that something is only good if we know in advance how it will develop and if it will develop the way we want it to? Why don’t we trust, for example, that the universe knows what’s best for us? Why don’t we believe and embrace the thought that the unexpected or maybe even the negative things are happening to us for a reason?
Thinking about these, I came to the following 4 things:
- We want to avoid the pains and injuries we have experienced in the past.
But these should not be avoided and not so-called “workarounds” should be developed for them, but they should be processed, understood, learned from and being let go of. And then the boogie man will not come for us again.
- We want to keep control in our hands.
Because we mistakenly think that something is only good if we do it. Because we think that only we can do it perfectly, only we know how to do it. But if we think about how many billions of people live on this planet, it sounds pretty stupid that there is no one else who can do what we do. Or that it can only be good for us as we think so. No way! Looking back on our lives, it has been proven many times that even though we wanted thing X, thing Y happened – and how good it was! In fact, much better! The point is, that we don’t necessarily know. Not even ourselves. So, let’s let the control out of our hands and trust that everything will be the way it is the best for us.
- We don’t trust ourselves.
We are not confident that we can cope with an unexpected situation. We do not believe that we have so much self-confidence, resilience, to-do attitude to solve the situation easily without a big extra energy investment. But we do. It may be harder at first, but easier at second. Third time, even more so. And so on. Believe that you can do it. Believe that you can trust yourself. And if you believed it, do it. Trust yourself!
- We do not allow people around us to help us.
It’s somewhat related to the control mindset, but I’m approaching it a little bit from elsewhere. If you have solved things in your life for yourself all alone so far and you also suffer from it in the meantime, I would advise you to ask yourself: Do I let them help me at all? Or do I just demand it from others, or perhaps I only complain about it not happening? You have to decide within yourself, that you allow it. And if you allow it, help will flow to you. Because that’s how it works. Demanding, quarrelling, forcing is never a good method. If you have to do this, look inside yourself. You don’t leave an open path to what you want. Look inside yourself and dissolve there what is blocking you from it.
And if you have already dealt with these above issues, you will not need to plan everything in advance, know everything in advance. You will enjoy flexibility, spontaneity, free existence, new opportunities.
And then you will only want to cross that particular bridge when the time comes for it. When you get there.