I meet more and more people in my life, who are eager to help others. Almost anyone at any time can turn to them, they are always there for them. They listen, give advices, offer help, find solution options.
Even if these people can sometimes say no, they feel deep remorse.
They feel guilty for walking out on the other, they didn’t help when it would have been needed. Due to this, they do help, depleting their own energy, in the expense of their own time. They put their own needs aside and for the happy feeling of helping others they still do what they are asked for. Or they might even offer by themselves what was not even asked from them.
As a result, after a while they will be exhausted, frustrated and unsatisfied with life. The feeling of “I am always just being used” surfaces.
What they don’t realise though, is that they do it with themselves.
They help everyone else, even at their own harm.
Parallel to this, most of these extremely helpful people cannot accept others’ help. They drain their own capabilities, opportunities, energy, time; however, if someone would like to give back even a small piece of this to them, they refuse it. Without even thinking about it.
Because they do not want to be a burden for others, they do not want to waste their time or cause inconvenience. Somewhere deep down another reason can also be hiding: maybe they think that they are not worthy of the help of others.
Really?? They wouldn’t be? Those who help others so much?
This kind of imbalance cannot be done for a long time.
Actually, it can be, but it is not worth doing it. Sooner or later the energy will be gone, the patience will fade away and the volcano will erupt. And the volcano is devastating. When these people try to stand up for themselves from time to time, it can become ugly.
It is because they do not know how they should do that. They have never practiced it. And when they get to the point that they try to do it, they are already full of tension, bitterness. Then they explode and they drift everyone close by.
A lot better solution is if they start to stand up for themselves gradually every once in a while, first in smaller things and they also start to accept others’ help. Bit by bit, step by step. Graduality and consciousness are very important here.
One of the best thoughts I met in this topic:
“Think about it, helpful people, when you help others, how does it feel? Of course, it is good. It can even be fantastic sometimes!
Then from those people, who would like to help you, why do you take away the opportunity to experience this feeling themselves?”
Let them feel it too!