Starving for crumbs of attention

This for you Ladies out there, who are living a life in which you do not get the well-deserved attention from the men around you. Maybe you are not in a relationship, but maybe you are living in one. Either way, lacking the attention from the men is so easy, unfortunately.

keenan-constance-B4axGpyGHJk-unsplashIn case you don’t have a very solid, inner self-confidence and self-love, this lack of attention from the other sex can cause that you are losing the sense of being a real woman, as you don’t receive any positive feedback. You are not being treated as a person, as a woman. The men just look over you, you might have the feeling that they do not see you at all. If this situation is persistent for a long time in your life, your femininity can suffer huge damages. If you do not start to work on your own self-confidence and self-worthyness, eventually you can go really deep down.

You can realise that you are in this situation, when the following happens: When a man – as a ray of light in the dark night – acts in a nice way with you, you suddenly start to overthink it. You start to see things in that kindness, which are not really there. You think, that this man wants something from you, will want to invite you for dinner, will want to be in a relationship with you, will want to marry you and live happily ever after with you. However, what happened, was just maybe a nice human gesture from a man to a woman, complimenting at the workplace for example the new dress that was bought. And the man in this case doesn’t think this over, from his end it was a simple gesture, nothing else.

But women, and especially women who tend not to receive the attention from men, are – in an exaggerated way – planning the wedding in their heads already. We could say that the women’s forward-thinking is kind of normal, if we think about how differently men and women think. Women are always the ones, who plan longer ahead, who would like to know what leads where. And this is fine, this is acceptable.

sharon-mccutcheon-zi1GRsLym3s-unsplashThe problem starts, when there is no real basis for the long-term thinking and plan-making.

As in this case, a simple small gesture is being considered as a meaningful huge step in the woman’s eyes. This all comes down to their thirst for attention, appreciation and love. Not having these in their lives for a long time, can alter the people’s thinking and their perception of reality. Then, without noticing it, the avalanche starts. They think it more and more over and start to build a non-existing wonder-world around the nothing.

In extreme cases, this woman can start to chase the man in question, attacking him with the love she thinks exists between them. It can even end up as a harrasment.

If we talk about harrasment, normally what comes to our mind, is that a man does it with a woman. But well, in this case the opposite happens! The woman, misunderstanding small everyday things due to her own harms in her soul, harresses the man. However, as I said, this is already an extreme case, hopefully not something that happens every day.

Ladies, what you need to know is that: if a man really wants something, he will go for it. Of course, we, women, need to show them that we are interested, if we think there might be something good happening. But the main point here is the extent, the measure.

You also need to realise that if you give the signs and the other one sees them but he is not reacting. This means most probably, that he is not interested. Women can start to think about here of a million of alternatives why the man did not react: he is tired, he is having trouble in work, he is just having “that day”, he will come around, etc.

But the relaity here is something, that I long remember from the series of “Sex and the City”: “He is just not into you!“.

alex-eckermann-W_K6j6OQBDg-unsplashAnd if this is the case, please, for your own sake, accept it! Spending more energy on this man, on this situation is just not worth it! Keep you dignity, your pride and close this story within yourself. Because it didn’t exist anywhere else, in the first place. Just inside your head. It was just your overthinking.

The problem is not the fact that it happens to lots of women, but that in many cases they do not want to face reality and they keep themselves in this downward spiral, which has no good endings at all for them.

Watch, see, evaluate, understand the situation you are in, dare to face the reality and dare to step out and close it – for yourself, for your own sake! ¤

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